Why I Solo Travel: My Unapologetic Guide to Doing Whatever the f*** I Want

Let me paint you a picture. For the last 30+ years, my life has revolved around everyone else's needs. "Mum, where's my...?" "Heidi, can you help me with...?" "Heidi will do it, she’s a good un...?" Sound familiar?

Well, guess what happened? My daughter went to University, I split up with my partner, survived near death and suddenly I found myself wondering, "Right, what now?" That's when I discovered the simple joy of solo travel – and let me tell you, it's been a game changer (if not a life changer)

The Beautiful Art of Pleasing Only Myself

You know what I did on the first day of my first solo trip to Barcelona? I spent the whole morning going into every single shop of my choice, taking my time trying on whatever took my fancy. Could I have done that back home? Could I heck. There would have been eye-rolling, foot-tapping, and at least ten "Are we done yet?" comments, and five “you have twenty of those ”comments.

But there I was, not only trying on what I fancied, I was walking around Barcelona admiring not only the fashion but also the awe inspiring architecture, completely lost in the moment. No one tutting and checking their watch. Just me, doing exactly what made me happy.

I fell in love with the interior of this building on my solo trip to Barcelona. It was in the Gothic Quarter and held a flamenco show

The Sweet Sound of Silence (And I Don't Mean the Song)

After decades of being everyone's people pleaser, the silence of solo travel is absolutely intoxicating.

After the morning of me shopping on my term’s, I spent the afternoon on the hotels rooftop by the pool (with a lovely glass of chilled white wine) reading my book, when I realised I hadn't spoken to another soul in three hours. It was BLISS. No worrying if anyone was bored, no awkward silence, no raised eyebrows when I ordered another drink.

Just me, my thoughts, and that lovely second glass of vino!.

Shock Horror: I Actually Quite Like Myself

Here's something nobody tells you about the empty nest phase – you might have forgotten who you are underneath all that looking after everyone. Solo travel forced me to rediscover myself, and shock horror: I'm actually rather good company!

I learned I'm the sort of person who chats to street cats in Rhodes (they're excellent listeners). I discovered I have no shame about having two pain au chocolate's for breakfast in Paris – twice. I found out I'm brave enough to navigate the way to my hotel’s armed with nothing but Google Translate and sheer bloody-mindedness. Their is ‘JOY’ in being selfish!

Last month in Rhodes, I changed my entire itinerary because I fell in love with the Rhodes Old Town. Instead of rushing about ticking off tourist boxes, I spent my time just pottering around those medieval streets, admiring the expensive boats in the harbour, and people-watching sat outside one of the many cafe bars.

Back in the day I always felt that there had to be an itinerary, those question’s “what are we doing today?” ”Where are we going today?” Still ring in my ears.

Sod that. Not anymore. My time, my rules, my beautiful, selfish decisions.

The Unexpected Gift of Introspection

Between you and me, I thought all that "finding yourself" travel spiel was complete B/S. But somewhere between watching a flamenco performance on my own in the Gothic Quarter and getting gloriously lost in the backstreets of Lalyssos, something clicked.

I started asking myself questions I have neglected to ask myself for a long time: What do I actually enjoy? What makes me smile, or laugh out loud? What brings me contentment? Turns out, when you're not busy being everyone's everything, you've got the space, and that window of time to figure out who you are.

Solo adventures are not meant to be picture perfect.

Don't get me wrong – solo travel isn't always Instagram-perfect. How these influencers get the perfect solo shot is beyond me, I must have taken at least twenty selfies by he amphitheatre in Terragona, and hated them all. Asking for a table for one, you sometimes do get a look of pity, and trying to ask for directions when neither person understands a word that is being said can be frustrating (thank god for google translate).

But here's the thing – these cock-ups become the best stories. And more importantly, I sorted them all out myself. No one to rescue me, no one to have a go at, just me muddling through. Turns out I'm more resourceful than I ever gave myself credit for.

My New Favourite Relationship Status: Solo Traveller

So here I am, embracing this new chapter where my biggest decision is whether to have wine with lunch (spoiler alert: it's always yes). Where I can spend an entire afternoon with just a book, a pool and a flamingo inflatable. Where I can have dinner at 10 PM in Cambril’s because that's what the locals do, for crying out loud.

Solo travel has become my reset button, my therapy, and my rebellion all rolled into one beautiful, selfish package. It's where I remember that I'm not just ‘good old helpful Heidi’ – I'm a whole person with my own need’s, want’s, passion’s, oh and that absolutely ridiculous sense of direction.

And you know what? Whether you are in a fully committed relationship, a parent with children still at home, a carer for a family member, we all need, and more importantly deserve that reset button.

Are you ready to embrace your own solo adventure? Trust me, the world's waiting – and so is the person you used to be before everyone needed you for absolutely everything

If you want to join my solo travel group, please click this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/467525126440147

Here is to lot's of happy solo travels

Love Heidi x

A little bit of people watching, and no hassle thrift shopping on my solo trip to Paris.